Oh! The Troubles I’ve Seen #2 (Letter 4)

Dear Y.B.M.:

The second trouble that I brought upon myself during my young years was loving many young women and using women for all the wrong reasons. Dear brother, when God made women, He made something! To me, there is nothing on God’s green earth more beautiful than “phat” women. Nothing! (For the ebonically challenged, “phat” means very fine.)

I am now an out and out Christian man; I am an ordained minister of the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ; I pray and read the Bible every day; I have been married for over twenty-seven years now to my first and only wife. But I don’t think I will ever get over God’s handiwork of the second and third quarters of a woman’s body. Most men, if they are honest, will tell you that their greatest struggle in life is the same struggle that David and Samson experienced—”phat” women folk. We criticize Adam for casting all of humanity toward the gates of hell, but the fact of the matter is, if we had seen the first, second, and third quarters of the naked body of Eve, not only would we have eaten the apple, we would have eaten the entire tree and then we would have helped to plant another one. You know I am right about that.

Be that as it may, the truth of the matter is, men who violate the Word of God by having sex with women they are not married to will pay for doing so. Look at King David and Bathsheba — God took away the son who was born to them out of their sin, and trouble never left his household. Samson’s lust for women caused him to get deceived by a beautiful but conniving woman named Delilah, and he ended up with his eyes plucked out and he lost his life.

You may ask, why do I have to pay for having sex with a woman I am not married to? Notice what God says in His Holy Word on this matter.

I Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.”

I Corinthians 7:1 says, “Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.”

Suffice it to say that every time, not just some of the time, but every time I had sex with a woman I was not married to, it was great while it lasted, but trouble and problems followed the pleasure. Millions can testify to the fact found in Proverbs 9:17: “Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.” But the trouble comes double.

Now, I have never been the romantic type. I am not naturally inclined to try to win a girl by buying her candy or flowers, taking her out on expensive dates, or buying her expensive gifts. But I have found other ways to win women over. Since I have never been the “sweet” type, I have never been hurt by a woman. In other words, I have never been “played” by a woman. Unlike Samson of old, I have never given my heart to a woman. I just don’t roll like that. I never considered any one girl my girlfriend even though she may have thought she was my girlfriend. In fact, I was seeing more than one girl at any given time when I was younger. That being the case, I have never held any bitterness or animosity toward women folk.

Like Samson, however, I “loved” women too much and all for the wrong reasons. The truth is, I didn’t love women for who they were, but for what I could get from them. When I got what I wanted from them—which was sex—trouble always followed.

You ask what kind of trouble followed?

1. After a period of casual sex, the relationship would begin to sour. It began to sour because even though she was giving me what I wanted, I had no intentions on giving her what she wanted, which was commitment, love, and affection.

2. If the young woman became pregnant, that created another set of problems, which are self-explanatory.

One problem came up that haunts me to this very day—and it has been over thirty years now since it happened. I was seeing one girl for sex repeatedly. To be honest, we were having a lot of fun together—until she got pregnant. We were very young—about fifteen-years-old. We both decided that it would be best to get an abortion. Somehow, I came up with the money and she and I went down to the doctor’s office and had the baby aborted. For some strange reason, the doctor wrapped the aborted baby in a napkin and gave it to her. Once we got in front of her house, we both looked at the aborted baby boy after which we placed him in the woods across the street from her home. Believe it or not, we both continued having sex and we did not stop until I got one of her best friends pregnant. Fortunately, for this child and for our own consciences, her girlfriend kept the baby.

Later in life, after I got saved, I learned that what that young woman and I did was murder an innocent child. Every now and then, I think about that baby buried in the woods across the street from her house, and the guilt and shame is painful.

The moral of that story, if you will, is: when you break God’s law, God’s law has a tendency to break you.

Again, remember this verse in Galatians 6:7: “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.”

3. The third type of trouble that follows sex outside of marriage is that even if you actually have children out of wedlock and things do not work out between you and the baby’s mother, as a father, you will suffer the pain and heartache of not having the privilege of loving and raising those children especially as you grow older. Every now and then you will feel guilt and shame regarding that.

4. The fourth type of trouble you will run into is, very simply, baby mama drama. Some women will try to use your children against you in an attempt to get money from you or to get you to stay with them or marry them. They will often try to control the relationship by telling you that you cannot see your children if you do not do things their way. This is trouble you can and should avoid.

So, young black man, do not have sex outside of marriage because trouble is sure to come.

Numbers 32:23 says, “But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the Lord: and be sure your sin will find you out.”

Avoiding More Trouble,

Daniel

P.T.: Power Thoughts

John Dewey said, “Failure is instructive. The person who really thinks learns quite as much from his failures as from his successes.”

Jerry Falwell said, “Any sex outside of the marriage bond between a man and a woman is violating God’s law.”

Someone once said, “When trouble calls on you, call on God.”

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